Okay, I'm into sharing...you know that, right? If you continue following this blog, you're really going to know almost everything about me. So, here's some additional trivia. Along with having 'ink spots' on my leg, I have what is called a 'familial tremor' which simply means 'there's a whole lot of shakin' goin' on'. M and I practically celebrate when I carry things like our coffee mugs to the table and we don't need to clean the floor, etc.
My most 'shaky' times are during worship/communion service each Sunday...we have a routine and M is required to sit on my left...that's etched in stone...and I do not touch the trays (per his request). Otherwise, the little communion cups just pop right out of my hand and voila...I not only have purple spots on my leg...I now have them on my clothes...aargh! Not to be stingy with this tremor, I passed it on to our youngest...we share stories about our 'oops'. Smiling about it doesn't make it go away tho'...I live w/it and do my best to go w/the flow...not to go ballistic.
I'm thinking...most of us have some 'thorn in the flesh' that we simply cannot get rid of...no matter what we do. Medications, exercises, you name it and sometimes nothing works...nada. Well then, what are we to do? Me? I try forgetting about it ~ which doesn't work; I tend to have panic attacks...aargh. Once, Michael thought I was going to pass out...my pulse beat so fast but he managed to calm me down...whew! I guess the conclusion is that, with me, nothing seems to work except me sitting at his right hand. And you know, that's not a bad thing.
I pray and pray about this tremor thing...well, it isn't going anywhere but I'm managing it with help. Help from a loving, understanding partner and friends (if occasionally M can't be there good friends will oblige and let me sit on their left)...I also have an unwavering faith...as in 'life without God is like an unsharpened pencil...it has no point'.
Surprise, now my life really has a point...like Mother Teresa said, "I'm a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world".
Here I am, the girl who never, ever finished a project...I became His little pencil, sending His love letters to the world...from China. I think His Spirit moved Michael to suggest that I send weekly journals out about His work there...M can be a most gentle persuader (he knows how to push my buttons) and of course His Spirit was always inspirational...thank you, Michael; thank you, Father.
So you see, there's hope for even the weakest of us...like me; even though I'm still shakin' things up...God is with me and He encourages me to encourage others; I honestly believe that I am on my way to being
Balanced and Unafraid...
Friday, October 15, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Care to Love?
About now, you realize how much I'm into quotes...right? Well, it takes all sorts of stuff to get a person going...with me, it's quotes. Secrets out, I have limitations and I'm a simple gal.
Aah, but...I'm also a 'lert (translation: I see and hear almost everything), sometimes to Michael's chagrin! (He likes to pretend so, anyway). You may be the same...or...you may not...irrelevant. Here's what stuck in my 'deposit box'..."The love of our neighbor in all its fullness simply means being able to say to him/her, "What are you going through?" Simone Weil.
There have been times in my life when I would've given 'all the tea in China' (trust me, that's a LOT) if someone had asked me that...just one someone! It's a given that time is of the essence in most lives; everyone seems into busyness...whether it be big or little stuff there's lots going on in lives. But, I should care...really, truly care about what's going on in your life, the lives of those around me, those I encounter in the stores, restaurants, all the places I go. Wow, does that mean constantly or what? Sure does.
I popped into this world with a lot of 'ink blots' on my right leg...I love jewel tones (a very good thing as it turned out)...like grape, wine, etc. That leg is like a description of the Greek island; Greece was created and there were all these little things left over so God just scattered them in the sea. Okay, my purple blots are scattered from top to bottom on that leg and trust me...girls are very sensitive about those things.
As it happened, I aged (there's just one other alternative, right?) and discovered many people never even noticed them, my sense of value went up a tad...I still have the blots but it isn't such a big thing now. I was always very aware when I saw anyone who had noticeable marks on their person...but I tried not to 'stare'...lessons learned. I'd see someone with half their face covered w/one and thanked God mine weren't on my face...oops!
God taught me well and in China I was able to put "What are you going through?" into practice. A few couples met to go to a class together; I noticed one of the wives seemed very shy...she was quite attractive but she kept half of her face hidden by her hair. I sort of positioned myself to 'get a peek' and noticed that half was one large blot...same shade as mine. Translation was necessary but she got the message about the birthmarks and expressed her great relief at comparing looks and thoughts about our lot in life...like a beautiful flower, she blossomed.
We can learn from mistakes...it's just that some are much more difficult than others. Take my worst ever mistake ~ I was addicted to prescription drugs for thirteen miserable years; hey, I didn't know they were miserable 'cause I wasn't really 'there'...you know? Then again, possibly you don't. How I got there...how I got out is for another time, if you care to know. I can write and talk about it now w/o weeping 24/7. But...I don't think anyone ever said to me, "What are you going through?".
Um-hmm, God taught me well and I've been able to mature in it. Someone once warned me to be cautious about sharing 'my past'. I'm not given to ignoring advice but I trashed that because it was no longer in me to close my eyes, so I ask "What are you going through?"
"So, be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life is a Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? (98 and 3/4% guaranteed). Kid, you'll move mountains." (Dr. Seuss...O the Places You'll Go)
By the way, you may quote me on this,...I am 'balanced and unafraid'...
Aah, but...I'm also a 'lert (translation: I see and hear almost everything), sometimes to Michael's chagrin! (He likes to pretend so, anyway). You may be the same...or...you may not...irrelevant. Here's what stuck in my 'deposit box'..."The love of our neighbor in all its fullness simply means being able to say to him/her, "What are you going through?" Simone Weil.
There have been times in my life when I would've given 'all the tea in China' (trust me, that's a LOT) if someone had asked me that...just one someone! It's a given that time is of the essence in most lives; everyone seems into busyness...whether it be big or little stuff there's lots going on in lives. But, I should care...really, truly care about what's going on in your life, the lives of those around me, those I encounter in the stores, restaurants, all the places I go. Wow, does that mean constantly or what? Sure does.
I popped into this world with a lot of 'ink blots' on my right leg...I love jewel tones (a very good thing as it turned out)...like grape, wine, etc. That leg is like a description of the Greek island; Greece was created and there were all these little things left over so God just scattered them in the sea. Okay, my purple blots are scattered from top to bottom on that leg and trust me...girls are very sensitive about those things.
As it happened, I aged (there's just one other alternative, right?) and discovered many people never even noticed them, my sense of value went up a tad...I still have the blots but it isn't such a big thing now. I was always very aware when I saw anyone who had noticeable marks on their person...but I tried not to 'stare'...lessons learned. I'd see someone with half their face covered w/one and thanked God mine weren't on my face...oops!
God taught me well and in China I was able to put "What are you going through?" into practice. A few couples met to go to a class together; I noticed one of the wives seemed very shy...she was quite attractive but she kept half of her face hidden by her hair. I sort of positioned myself to 'get a peek' and noticed that half was one large blot...same shade as mine. Translation was necessary but she got the message about the birthmarks and expressed her great relief at comparing looks and thoughts about our lot in life...like a beautiful flower, she blossomed.
We can learn from mistakes...it's just that some are much more difficult than others. Take my worst ever mistake ~ I was addicted to prescription drugs for thirteen miserable years; hey, I didn't know they were miserable 'cause I wasn't really 'there'...you know? Then again, possibly you don't. How I got there...how I got out is for another time, if you care to know. I can write and talk about it now w/o weeping 24/7. But...I don't think anyone ever said to me, "What are you going through?".
Um-hmm, God taught me well and I've been able to mature in it. Someone once warned me to be cautious about sharing 'my past'. I'm not given to ignoring advice but I trashed that because it was no longer in me to close my eyes, so I ask "What are you going through?"
"So, be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life is a Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? (98 and 3/4% guaranteed). Kid, you'll move mountains." (Dr. Seuss...O the Places You'll Go)
By the way, you may quote me on this,...I am 'balanced and unafraid'...
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Perfect Blendship
There's a song that goes "Friendship, friendship...such a perfect blend-ship;
When other friendships' are done forgot? Ours will still be hot"...hot as in cookin', okay?
Lyrics continue..."If you're ever in a jam, here I am. If you're ever up a tree, call on me."
And so it goes...in other words, friendship is wonderful...reliability no matter what...hmmm!
I'm sure you've jumped to aid a friend more than once. Your friends have rescued you, right? Of course they have and you've done the same for them...numerous times and no one keeps score. Friends do that...and it warms your bod from head to toe. 'Cause you feel very loved; friends are like that.
Have you ever in your life let a good friend down? Be truthful now...I have and I've never been able to forget it...it's stuck in my heart like a thorn. Why in the world did I do it? I was very selfish and just didn't want to put myself out...now that is worse than awful of me!
The other instance is one where a very wonderful, longtime friend decided she no longer wanted me as a friend because a problem developed in her life; and I didn't have the same one! Confession is good for the soul? Yep, but it hurts...most painful. What I should've done, what I could've done...I didn't. Time passes quickly and the opportunities are gone but believe me when I write that they taught me a valuable lesson. Pride/stubbornness...whatever tag you put on it...shouldn't be in my heart, not at all...ever. I let it muddle my thinking and I believe I enjoyed being 'a martyr'...that's an ouch deluxe!!!
Have you ever done anything like that...surely not? However...I rather imagine I'm not the Lone Ranger here.
Growing up, I hadn't many friends. It's difficult making friends when you're moving sometimes every few weeks, months...tad easier when you're in a place at least one year. I moved 58 times from little baby until finally settling down. My dad was in the oil business (roughnecking on up) and that meant moving where the rigs were drilling. Bit of history here...he helped drill the wells on the grounds of the Oklahoma state capitol. Oh wow, I have felt soooo sorry for poor little me too many times...no wonder I didn't have many friends. I was a sad sack.
Well, that was then...this is now when I can honestly say to my friends: 'You are my friend and you are very cherished. I will never intentionally hurt or disappoint you; I will do all I can to keep our friendship on an even keel'.
From an unknown source here's a quote to think about: "Some people carry their hearts in their hands; very many carry their heads in their hearts. The difficulty is to keep them apart, and yet both actually work together".
You know, I've always had tender feelings and at times been hurt. I can wear my heart on my sleeve, be hurt and shed tears...I can wipe the tears away but you know, it takes more effort to erase the hurt from my heart...practicing, practicing to stay 'balanced and unafraid'.
When other friendships' are done forgot? Ours will still be hot"...hot as in cookin', okay?
Lyrics continue..."If you're ever in a jam, here I am. If you're ever up a tree, call on me."
And so it goes...in other words, friendship is wonderful...reliability no matter what...hmmm!
I'm sure you've jumped to aid a friend more than once. Your friends have rescued you, right? Of course they have and you've done the same for them...numerous times and no one keeps score. Friends do that...and it warms your bod from head to toe. 'Cause you feel very loved; friends are like that.
Have you ever in your life let a good friend down? Be truthful now...I have and I've never been able to forget it...it's stuck in my heart like a thorn. Why in the world did I do it? I was very selfish and just didn't want to put myself out...now that is worse than awful of me!
The other instance is one where a very wonderful, longtime friend decided she no longer wanted me as a friend because a problem developed in her life; and I didn't have the same one! Confession is good for the soul? Yep, but it hurts...most painful. What I should've done, what I could've done...I didn't. Time passes quickly and the opportunities are gone but believe me when I write that they taught me a valuable lesson. Pride/stubbornness...whatever tag you put on it...shouldn't be in my heart, not at all...ever. I let it muddle my thinking and I believe I enjoyed being 'a martyr'...that's an ouch deluxe!!!
Have you ever done anything like that...surely not? However...I rather imagine I'm not the Lone Ranger here.
Growing up, I hadn't many friends. It's difficult making friends when you're moving sometimes every few weeks, months...tad easier when you're in a place at least one year. I moved 58 times from little baby until finally settling down. My dad was in the oil business (roughnecking on up) and that meant moving where the rigs were drilling. Bit of history here...he helped drill the wells on the grounds of the Oklahoma state capitol. Oh wow, I have felt soooo sorry for poor little me too many times...no wonder I didn't have many friends. I was a sad sack.
Well, that was then...this is now when I can honestly say to my friends: 'You are my friend and you are very cherished. I will never intentionally hurt or disappoint you; I will do all I can to keep our friendship on an even keel'.
From an unknown source here's a quote to think about: "Some people carry their hearts in their hands; very many carry their heads in their hearts. The difficulty is to keep them apart, and yet both actually work together".
You know, I've always had tender feelings and at times been hurt. I can wear my heart on my sleeve, be hurt and shed tears...I can wipe the tears away but you know, it takes more effort to erase the hurt from my heart...practicing, practicing to stay 'balanced and unafraid'.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Walking in Happiness
Okay, so now you know I'm a Fiasco...but know this, I definitely am a happy one. I went from insecure to a somewhat blissful status when I was blest in marriage to my #1 man...that would be Michael. We've been together a very long time now...and tell you the truth, it's a God Work.
I suppose you could say Michael was 'swept off his feet'. How so? Well, goes like this. He and I dated for awhile, even after he told his friends that I was one girl who would 'never' set foot in his car. Big mistake, sweet one. I ended up owning half of everything he has...taught him, huh?
Like I said, we dated until he was whisked off to Korea...his Oklahoma National Guard unit was mobilized for the Korean conflict. He came to say good-bye but alas, I had moved to California, lived with my aunt and got a job...you know, the one at Forest Lawn (the cemetary)...how romantic...not. The warrior left and we proceeded to correspond...he soldiered and I dated (sort of shopping). Things progressed and we fell more in love...those things happen...you know?
I told him I had a check-list for what I wanted in a life partner...he never believed that, but that's the truth...trust me. I knew exactly what I wanted and that's exactly what I got...perfect choice...he got all the right check marks.
A year passed and soon enough he had an exit date and would be home. In the meantime, I planned our wedding. Set the date, bought my dress and had the invitations printed. One thing though...he'd never actually proposed...I just planned it and that was that.
Someone asked me what would I have done if he hadn't 'accepted' and gone along with it? Well, you know...I don't know because I never once considered that. I do know that God Work takes care of those things and just look what happened...you certainly can't argue with the results, can you?
We've four fantastic sons...geniuses, I promise you. We are so proud of them; four wonderful daughter-in-laws and ten just as wonderful grandchildren.
My best laid plans? Thank God, Michael came along for the walk...walking in happiness is the walk of a lifetime.
And that's a plus...it enables me, at times, to be 'balanced and unafraid'.
I suppose you could say Michael was 'swept off his feet'. How so? Well, goes like this. He and I dated for awhile, even after he told his friends that I was one girl who would 'never' set foot in his car. Big mistake, sweet one. I ended up owning half of everything he has...taught him, huh?
Like I said, we dated until he was whisked off to Korea...his Oklahoma National Guard unit was mobilized for the Korean conflict. He came to say good-bye but alas, I had moved to California, lived with my aunt and got a job...you know, the one at Forest Lawn (the cemetary)...how romantic...not. The warrior left and we proceeded to correspond...he soldiered and I dated (sort of shopping). Things progressed and we fell more in love...those things happen...you know?
I told him I had a check-list for what I wanted in a life partner...he never believed that, but that's the truth...trust me. I knew exactly what I wanted and that's exactly what I got...perfect choice...he got all the right check marks.
A year passed and soon enough he had an exit date and would be home. In the meantime, I planned our wedding. Set the date, bought my dress and had the invitations printed. One thing though...he'd never actually proposed...I just planned it and that was that.
Someone asked me what would I have done if he hadn't 'accepted' and gone along with it? Well, you know...I don't know because I never once considered that. I do know that God Work takes care of those things and just look what happened...you certainly can't argue with the results, can you?
We've four fantastic sons...geniuses, I promise you. We are so proud of them; four wonderful daughter-in-laws and ten just as wonderful grandchildren.
My best laid plans? Thank God, Michael came along for the walk...walking in happiness is the walk of a lifetime.
And that's a plus...it enables me, at times, to be 'balanced and unafraid'.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
One Heart plus Two Hands
“To receive everything, one must open one's hands and give” Taisen Deshimaru
In China, it's customary when you give someone something you use both hands. I liked that and still try to practice it. I extend it w/both hands and I also do it with my heart wide open...a two fold thing...that's the way I'm thinking. Keeps me balanced and trust me, I do need balance!
Why's that? Well, because I am a 1st class KLUTZ...I wasn't tagged Fiasco for nothing. When we re-located to Norman Oklahoma I met a man who became a very close friend. But, as it happens w/most people, he couldn't get my name right (who ever met a Vasca) so he announced, "I'll just call you Fiasco"...and it stuck. Michael informed him that he was right on target 'cause I truly was a 'Fiasco'. I'm a disaster in so many respects...M doesn't really want to hurt my feelings but he's much more comfortable when I keep my distance from his projects.
Offsetting my disastrous side would be my love for sharing and giving. I caught that from my sweet dad...he loved to give, and give...oh wow, he was a giver and then some. Lots of times he would bring something to our house and say that he thought I needed it and so it was mine. Oops, he didn't consult mother about it so I would quietly take it back. Birds, dogs, tools...nothing was sacred.
I've known those who said when their ship came in, they'd do this and that; something big that would make an impact...a big difference. If I waited for 'my ship' to come in, what if it never made it? Oops...sorry 'bout that.
M and I live in a comfortably small house...we call it our charming cottage. We have a very old Dodge Ram truck...we call him Henry...we are a friendly couple...we call us Michael and Vasca. We've everything we could possibly need or want and we're happy, contented and totally abandoned...to God.
We've emptied ourselves for Him and have not once regretted it ~ we consider it a blessing that we could and would do that. And what did He do? For starters He is steering us through this Amyloidosis storm...an incurable, rare disease...we're sailing in calm seas, no matter what comes. Each morning we greet each other with smiling kisses, joy in our hearts...and a day full of love...some start, huh?
You see, everything counts, whether big or small...whenever opportunities pop up like popcorn, we can do something. Simple enough, just open our eyes, our ears and most importantly...keep our hearts open. I'm staying alert...world needs more 'lerts anyway! Balanced and unafraid...I'm trying.
In China, it's customary when you give someone something you use both hands. I liked that and still try to practice it. I extend it w/both hands and I also do it with my heart wide open...a two fold thing...that's the way I'm thinking. Keeps me balanced and trust me, I do need balance!
Why's that? Well, because I am a 1st class KLUTZ...I wasn't tagged Fiasco for nothing. When we re-located to Norman Oklahoma I met a man who became a very close friend. But, as it happens w/most people, he couldn't get my name right (who ever met a Vasca) so he announced, "I'll just call you Fiasco"...and it stuck. Michael informed him that he was right on target 'cause I truly was a 'Fiasco'. I'm a disaster in so many respects...M doesn't really want to hurt my feelings but he's much more comfortable when I keep my distance from his projects.
Offsetting my disastrous side would be my love for sharing and giving. I caught that from my sweet dad...he loved to give, and give...oh wow, he was a giver and then some. Lots of times he would bring something to our house and say that he thought I needed it and so it was mine. Oops, he didn't consult mother about it so I would quietly take it back. Birds, dogs, tools...nothing was sacred.
I've known those who said when their ship came in, they'd do this and that; something big that would make an impact...a big difference. If I waited for 'my ship' to come in, what if it never made it? Oops...sorry 'bout that.
M and I live in a comfortably small house...we call it our charming cottage. We have a very old Dodge Ram truck...we call him Henry...we are a friendly couple...we call us Michael and Vasca. We've everything we could possibly need or want and we're happy, contented and totally abandoned...to God.
We've emptied ourselves for Him and have not once regretted it ~ we consider it a blessing that we could and would do that. And what did He do? For starters He is steering us through this Amyloidosis storm...an incurable, rare disease...we're sailing in calm seas, no matter what comes. Each morning we greet each other with smiling kisses, joy in our hearts...and a day full of love...some start, huh?
You see, everything counts, whether big or small...whenever opportunities pop up like popcorn, we can do something. Simple enough, just open our eyes, our ears and most importantly...keep our hearts open. I'm staying alert...world needs more 'lerts anyway! Balanced and unafraid...I'm trying.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
What about tomorrow?
Yeah, what about tomorrow anyway? First off, tomorrow is THE day we (that would be Michael & Vasca...our family and friends)...learn at last what type of Amyloidosis Michael has...hey, we might even talk about a treatment plan...who knows? God has all the details...Dr. Holmes has the word on paper...we will be the last to know.
We've waited and waited for this...it seems like an eternity but really it isn't...hasn't been so long. Actually 93 days since M discovered Amy in his throat...he didn't know Amy then, but Amy had moved in unannounced! How rude is that?
You know, when something so unusual occurs in your life, you think everyone else is as obsessed as you. But that's unrealistic, isn't it? Not everyone becomes involved in everyone else's life...we might all go ballistic and lose it.
I pray that I will always be aware of others and what's taking place in their lives...and let them know I care, I truly care. William Arthur Ward wrote, “Three keys to more abundant living: caring about others, daring for others, sharing with others.”
This is my plan from this day forward...I will care about others...I will dare for others and I will share with others...that is a God Work, right? Of course and I really like working with God...HE knows how to work it.
No matter what comes tomorrow, we are balanced and unafraid...
We've waited and waited for this...it seems like an eternity but really it isn't...hasn't been so long. Actually 93 days since M discovered Amy in his throat...he didn't know Amy then, but Amy had moved in unannounced! How rude is that?
You know, when something so unusual occurs in your life, you think everyone else is as obsessed as you. But that's unrealistic, isn't it? Not everyone becomes involved in everyone else's life...we might all go ballistic and lose it.
I pray that I will always be aware of others and what's taking place in their lives...and let them know I care, I truly care. William Arthur Ward wrote, “Three keys to more abundant living: caring about others, daring for others, sharing with others.”
This is my plan from this day forward...I will care about others...I will dare for others and I will share with others...that is a God Work, right? Of course and I really like working with God...HE knows how to work it.
No matter what comes tomorrow, we are balanced and unafraid...
Friday, July 9, 2010
Long Time Coming
"Most people can look back over the years and identify a time and place at which their lives changed significantly. Whether by accident or design, these are the moments when, because of a readiness within us and a collaboration with events occurring around us, we are forced to seriously reappraise ourselves and the conditions under which we live and to make certain choices that will affect the rest of our lives"...Frederick F. Flack.
July 8th Michael and I celebrated our 58th year of marriage...oh wow! That's a long, long time and such a wonderful time it's been. Michael didn't 'fly me to the moon' because I didn't want to go there, instead he took me around the world and back...several times. Two naive young people so much in love...with so much to learn but we're fast learners so we jumped in with both feet and haven't stopped since.
We've often looked back over our years and thought about how His Spirit worked in our lives...so magnificently. Things we could've done...and didn't...things we would've done...and didn't. Why? Because we were doing our best to be spirit-led; did we always stay upright? No...simply because we are not in any way...perfect. Imagine that, will you?
One major pivotal point in our lives was deciding to change professions and re-enter the military with the aim to make it a lifetime career. It required many painful sacrifices on M's part...many on my part as well as the four boys! All of us suffered but God led us through it...step by step.
Here we are, so many years later and we're into re-appraisal and making some necessary changes. M has served as a shepherd for many congregations...for many years. The latest has been here in our hometown...5 years...and it's time to make another change. Amyloidosis has moved in with us and won't move out as long as M lives...that's a given that won't change. We accept the intrusion and know that God will see us through it, no matter what.
HE always does and we remain balanced and unafraid.
July 8th Michael and I celebrated our 58th year of marriage...oh wow! That's a long, long time and such a wonderful time it's been. Michael didn't 'fly me to the moon' because I didn't want to go there, instead he took me around the world and back...several times. Two naive young people so much in love...with so much to learn but we're fast learners so we jumped in with both feet and haven't stopped since.
We've often looked back over our years and thought about how His Spirit worked in our lives...so magnificently. Things we could've done...and didn't...things we would've done...and didn't. Why? Because we were doing our best to be spirit-led; did we always stay upright? No...simply because we are not in any way...perfect. Imagine that, will you?
One major pivotal point in our lives was deciding to change professions and re-enter the military with the aim to make it a lifetime career. It required many painful sacrifices on M's part...many on my part as well as the four boys! All of us suffered but God led us through it...step by step.
Here we are, so many years later and we're into re-appraisal and making some necessary changes. M has served as a shepherd for many congregations...for many years. The latest has been here in our hometown...5 years...and it's time to make another change. Amyloidosis has moved in with us and won't move out as long as M lives...that's a given that won't change. We accept the intrusion and know that God will see us through it, no matter what.
HE always does and we remain balanced and unafraid.
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