WHY SO ANGRY???

I wonder if narrow mindedness causes anger? What do you think? Charles Kettering said, "People are very open minded about new things ~ as long as they're exactly like the old ones."

Okay...we have several political parties in the news...all day, every day. Am I so ingrained in 'my favorite' that I won't listen/hear another side? I hope that I can be open-minded, just in case my favorite and I are off course. I don't want to fall in the ditch...do you?

Sadly, narrow mindedness isn't limited to politics; it's possibly even more prevalent in our churches. Oops...really? Oh, I think so. I imagine you've heard that travel broadens ones horizons? In our case it did just that...M and I are Spirit-led which has led us around the world and back. Two Oklahoma kids married and dreamed of living in M's hometown forever but God had a plan...unknown to us but we were co-operative.

He placed us in Greece where we lived w/a Greek couple & their daughter; He put us in Ethiopia w/Coptic Christians in the household; He put us in Germany where we lived with a German couple; He put us in Wisconsin in what is called 'The Holy Land'...the only non-Catholics for miles and miles; last but not least He put us in China where we lived among millions of Chinese atheists. In other words, we've been around the block a few times and have been involved in a myriad of cultures...each different than the other. Each culture worships in a manner different that ours...each society is totally different than ours.

So, we have a different outlook than many of our associates here in this place. Okay, so travel broadens one's horizons; I believe it's true. Not that there's anything wrong with living and remaining in one place your entire life...in that case it's important to study others, their way of life and come to some understanding of what others are about.

There's a Chinese proverb, "The broad minded see the truth in different religions; the narrow minded see only the differences."

If I see only what I want to see I could miss something of utmost importance to my soul; to my way of thinking about others. Whether it be political or religious. Haven't you heard, there are two things you don't discuss...religion and politics? Why do you suppose that is? Because we lose our cool when someone/anyone disagrees with our views and beliefs? Oh, come on now...surely we're more adult than that...we're better people than that? Are we? Am I? Each of us knows the answer...and if we're honest it's probably an answer we'd rather not hear.

I don't believe our Father is pleased w/many of our emotional outbursts...I mean the anger one feels when another crosses our line or steps on our toes...ouch. Here's something to think about...if someone were to pay you 10 cents for every kind word you ever spoke and collect 5 cents for every unkind word would you be rich or poor?

Okay, one last thought; I don't want to be so narrow-minded that I can see through a keyhole with both eyes. In order to see more clearly, I've worked at broadening my attitude for quite some time and you know, I'm a better person and I am sooooo much happier walking w/God 24/7...what an experience. If you've not tried it ~ give it a whirl...it'll make your head spin!!!

balanced and unafraid......

Accepting a Dare...

Like most of the world...I have a cell phone. To Michael's chagrin I don't keep it at hand; too much of the time it's on silent. But wait, there's hope...I'm practicing keeping it nearby just in case he calls. His personal ring tone is "I Just Called to Say I Love You"...why else would he call? The ring tone for others is "Who Are You, Who, Who Are You"? You really wanna' know???

Funny, everytime anyone other than M calls, I think about...okay, who am I...really...who? Will the real me stand up? Am I what God wants me to be, what He knows I can be? Honestly, much of the time the answer would be, "No, no I'm not really measuring up to His expectations". I am not doing my best. Why is that? I wonder and then my ornery conscience kicks up its heels...ooh.

Oprah Winfrey says, "Doing your best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment."

That's a good thought, Oprah...good thought. Step by step, this moment...the next moment...on and on...keep movin'...improving...good...better...best...aah. This is not a cakewalk...the apostle Paul calls it a race and oh my, I am basically not even a walker, much less a runner. I've difficulty making my body do anything but fall all over the place...24/7. Fell flat on my face entering a hotel last weekend...but guess what? God must've put some rubber in my mold...more bounce to the ounce...I'm a bouncer!

Something happened to me recently; can't put a finger on it but it's pretty neat. I have a new, greater awareness of others and what I can contribute to their lives while also contributing to my spiritual growth/maturity. You think His Spirit has something to do w/this? Yeah!

Making a difference is important, right? This world seems so harsh at times and oh, how we can hurt each other...surely we've something better to do than beating others up. I can contribute to the happiness of others w/simple thoughtfulness, kind words, a myriad of ways...I can do that...I can.

"I have begun a crusade in my life, to dare to be my best"...Wm. Danforth.

Who am I??? Ta-Dah...now I really know...I am one of God's Daring Crusaders...

Balanced and Unafraid...

A Veteran

Tomorrow, Nov. 11th, is Veteran's Day...to some it may not matter...to others? It stirs a mixture of emotions. I know, because I live with one of those precious vets...and he's my hero!

My heart was touched in the grocery store last week by someone I'd not seen before...a high school employee. One checker knows that we've lived in China, etc. but Friday she asked me what my husband retired from and I told her, the Army. Oh...he retired as a Colonel w/32 years of service. The sacker was apparently taking all that in because as he pushed the cart to our car, he said "Your husband really retired as a Colonel?" I replied that he had. He asked questions about M's military career, etc...very nice. When he finished loading the groceries he said, "Please tell your husband 'Thank You' for me...thank him for his service." That touched me...it touched Michael.

It's good to be touched and think back...reflecting. Those were good years that took the six of us all over the world...wow! However, we paid a price; there were difficult years...there were heartbreaking years. Twice we lived on post and our military neighbors seemed to have duties on base, spending off-duty time at home...w/their families. I confess to envy 'cause M was always away...sometimes we hadn't a clue where or when he'd be back...ssshhh...secret. The periods 'at home' were wonderful times; the year-long periods 'away from home' were like forever and ever.

Before cell phones/computers meant snail mail and keeping tabs on the postman...my best friend. Michael had two combat tours plus a hardship tour in Eritrea (Ethiopia) that was similar to a combat tour...very dangerous. I might write about that on a later post. I mentioned mail? M and I wrote each other every single day...and sometimes even more! When my mother dropped by she usually found me writing M and she'd ask what in the world we found to write about every day??? Reaching out and touching, Mother...a God Work

Viet Nam? Oh...M went very there early on; not many knew 'beans' about the country, much less what was going on. M was presented to the King of Greece because he was the first to be called from Greece to Viet Nam...could've, would've passed on that distinctive honor! From Greece to 'Nam...what a switch. We spent Christmas in our empty Greek home, waiting to be shipped to the U.S. for M's 30 day leave before going to Nam. I believe I cried for over 45 days...sobbing's more like it.

One of our worst days was driving M to the airport; one more battlefront...thankfully our four boys were in school so he and I drove it alone. When we pulled up in front of the terminal I said, "I can't do this...I just can't"...he agreed and we kissed a kiss that would last until one year later...it was like 'dumping him out' as he opened the door, picked up his bag and walked off...that was it and I still cry remembering. But...BUT...at least...he made it back...he made it home.

Oh, how we missed him..."Missing someone gets easier every day because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will." That was one of my survival techniques for the many long separations...I divided time into segments that were regularly adjusted...closer and closer until, thank God, we were physically one again!

My heart breaks for all those who didn't make it...for all those who have returned from Iraq, Afghanistan, Viet Nam...bodies ravaged, mental pictures that won't go away...for all those who are returning to those far-off places again and again. My heart breaks/aches for all the wives, children, families who wait and wait and wait and wait.

There is so much one could write about our veterans...not enough words or space. But it's important for us to remember them...to thank them & their families for their service & sacrifices...and to remember that freedom is not free!

Elmer Davis reminds us...

"THIS NATION WILL REMAIN THE LAND OF THE FREE
ONLY SO LONG AS IT IS THE HOME OF THE BRAVE."

Thanks to my hero & all veterans I have the opportunity to be

Balanced and unafraid....

What Makes Each Day Valuable?

Back in my 'depressed' days...I loved going to bed at night because I didn't want to think about 'the day'...I didn't want to get up the next morning because I didn't want to think about 'the day'. Okay, I was a hopeless mess...that's about it. God, Michael and our sons 'worked me over' and with all their love showed me that I could be happy...or...unhappy...the choice was mine. I chose 'happy'.

I honestly don't know why I sank so deeply into my personal pit...it just happened. I had a good marriage, wonderful sons...you name it and I had it...all of it. Somehow that wasn't enough...I wanted, without a clue as to what it was...I was...in a phrase...unable to face a day.

Choosing 'happy' has proven to be the valuable choice...dread is no longer an option. Today Michael put it in perspective for me...he said, "Vasca, each day has a beginning and it has an ending." Ta-dah...knew that but I hadn't actually processed it until today...I'm not always sharp as a tack...ouch!

Okay...it's a given there is a monumental amount of unhappiness/stress in our society; all of us are engulfed w/making it from day to day. Aah...that's it, huh? Day to day? A day begins and A day ends...24 hours and it's out of here...over, done with...poof. Please don't misunderstand, I don't make light of my struggle...or yours (if you don't have one...you are rare)...it's just that I refuse to give up and I will not drop out of the race.

Groucho Marx was not one of my favorites but he came up w/a good thought. "Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself; I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose what it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day today and I'm going to be happy in it."

Now...here's my plan...I'll wake today (much better than not waking), rest there a few minutes talking to God...I'll tell Him that today I am walking with Him..that I am going to do my best...that I am encouraging others...that I'm going to be His light all day...I choose happy.

When I go to bed today, I will continue talking to Him; discussing the people I've been with, talked with or even casually encountered...I will share my day with Him...and I will ask Him for wisdom and forgiveness for my failings. And that is the end of today. I chose happy.

This post began with the question, what makes each day valuable? Personally? Today is valuable because I've no regrets...Today I've done my best to be loving, kind and helpful to everyone I am involved with...Today I have no feelings of animosity...Today I pray that God smiles over me. Today is more valuable than 'all the tea in China'...

Balanced and Unafraid...

Morning...Glory!!!

A few years ago, M and I planted (well okay, M planted but he and I picked it out) a very healthy morning glory plant. It has provided us with oodles of pleasure w/it's healthy foliage and gorgeous flowers...year after year. Until this year...ouch. The greenery was so pretty, spreading everywhere w/what? Not a single sign of a flower...where in the world are they this year? We've not a clue. But...hope springs eternal and last week old eagle-eyed M spied a couple of pods and what d'ya know? We're about to have A (as in one) flower...well, one is better than none, right? The morning glory is rather like me...that is, according to our youngest son...#4...Scott...his mother (that would be me, of course) is also a late bloomer.

Our city is in the process of Rehabilitating The Neighborhood...at least that's what the big sign says that's sitting in our front yard. Talk about a mess? We aren't complaining though because it's well worth it; an entire facelift for our street. The water truck wets the street down several times each day; trying to keep the dust down until it's paving time...sadly, it isn't helping much. Dust covers the truck and car; also covers the morning glory...but M is watering it, trying to keep it dust free and even praying for it. It really needs to speed it up before a frost hits us...and today...guess what??? The bud is opening and a flower is peeping out...awesome!

Back to the comparison bit...I seem to be spending most of this fourth quarter of my life...blooming. The mistakes I made several years ago could've destroyed me, hurt my family but God helped my 5 men dust me off, He helped them 'feed' me...prayed for me...and here I am, makin' it and blooming every step of the way.

Sharon Olds wrote..."I was a late bloomer. But anyone who blooms at all is very lucky." Wow...what if our beautiful morning glory never bloomed...and oh my, what if I'd never bloomed? Even one someone might have missed out on something special...imagine that. I'm thinking I don't want to give up or write something wonderful off...especially people.

Granted...it does take time, thoughtfulness and prayer and it needs to be wrapped in love...but you know something? When I touch someone or someone touches me? I feel so alive and I'm not about to let the dust settle.

Balanced and Unafraid...

Steady Does It...

Okay, I'm into sharing...you know that, right? If you continue following this blog, you're really going to know almost everything about me. So, here's some additional trivia. Along with having 'ink spots' on my leg, I have what is called a 'familial tremor' which simply means 'there's a whole lot of shakin' goin' on'. M and I practically celebrate when I carry things like our coffee mugs to the table and we don't need to clean the floor, etc.

My most 'shaky' times are during worship/communion service each Sunday...we have a routine and M is required to sit on my left...that's etched in stone...and I do not touch the trays (per his request). Otherwise, the little communion cups just pop right out of my hand and voila...I not only have purple spots on my leg...I now have them on my clothes...aargh! Not to be stingy with this tremor, I passed it on to our youngest...we share stories about our 'oops'. Smiling about it doesn't make it go away tho'...I live w/it and do my best to go w/the flow...not to go ballistic.

I'm thinking...most of us have some 'thorn in the flesh' that we simply cannot get rid of...no matter what we do. Medications, exercises, you name it and sometimes nothing works...nada. Well then, what are we to do? Me? I try forgetting about it ~ which doesn't work; I tend to have panic attacks...aargh. Once, Michael thought I was going to pass out...my pulse beat so fast but he managed to calm me down...whew! I guess the conclusion is that, with me, nothing seems to work except me sitting at his right hand. And you know, that's not a bad thing.

I pray and pray about this tremor thing...well, it isn't going anywhere but I'm managing it with help. Help from a loving, understanding partner and friends (if occasionally M can't be there good friends will oblige and let me sit on their left)...I also have an unwavering faith...as in 'life without God is like an unsharpened pencil...it has no point'.

Surprise, now my life really has a point...like Mother Teresa said, "I'm a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world".

Here I am, the girl who never, ever finished a project...I became His little pencil, sending His love letters to the world...from China. I think His Spirit moved Michael to suggest that I send weekly journals out about His work there...M can be a most gentle persuader (he knows how to push my buttons) and of course His Spirit was always inspirational...thank you, Michael; thank you, Father.

So you see, there's hope for even the weakest of us...like me; even though I'm still shakin' things up...God is with me and He encourages me to encourage others; I honestly believe that I am on my way to being
Balanced and Unafraid...

Care to Love?

About now, you realize how much I'm into quotes...right? Well, it takes all sorts of stuff to get a person going...with me, it's quotes. Secrets out, I have limitations and I'm a simple gal.

Aah, but...I'm also a 'lert (translation: I see and hear almost everything), sometimes to Michael's chagrin! (He likes to pretend so, anyway). You may be the same...or...you may not...irrelevant. Here's what stuck in my 'deposit box'..."The love of our neighbor in all its fullness simply means being able to say to him/her, "What are you going through?" Simone Weil.

There have been times in my life when I would've given 'all the tea in China' (trust me, that's a LOT) if someone had asked me that...just one someone! It's a given that time is of the essence in most lives; everyone seems into busyness...whether it be big or little stuff there's lots going on in lives. But, I should care...really, truly care about what's going on in your life, the lives of those around me, those I encounter in the stores, restaurants, all the places I go. Wow, does that mean constantly or what? Sure does.

I popped into this world with a lot of 'ink blots' on my right leg...I love jewel tones (a very good thing as it turned out)...like grape, wine, etc. That leg is like a description of the Greek island; Greece was created and there were all these little things left over so God just scattered them in the sea. Okay, my purple blots are scattered from top to bottom on that leg and trust me...girls are very sensitive about those things.

As it happened, I aged (there's just one other alternative, right?) and discovered many people never even noticed them, my sense of value went up a tad...I still have the blots but it isn't such a big thing now. I was always very aware when I saw anyone who had noticeable marks on their person...but I tried not to 'stare'...lessons learned. I'd see someone with half their face covered w/one and thanked God mine weren't on my face...oops!

God taught me well and in China I was able to put "What are you going through?" into practice. A few couples met to go to a class together; I noticed one of the wives seemed very shy...she was quite attractive but she kept half of her face hidden by her hair. I sort of positioned myself to 'get a peek' and noticed that half was one large blot...same shade as mine. Translation was necessary but she got the message about the birthmarks and expressed her great relief at comparing looks and thoughts about our lot in life...like a beautiful flower, she blossomed.

We can learn from mistakes...it's just that some are much more difficult than others. Take my worst ever mistake ~ I was addicted to prescription drugs for thirteen miserable years; hey, I didn't know they were miserable 'cause I wasn't really 'there'...you know? Then again, possibly you don't. How I got there...how I got out is for another time, if you care to know. I can write and talk about it now w/o weeping 24/7. But...I don't think anyone ever said to me, "What are you going through?".

Um-hmm, God taught me well and I've been able to mature in it. Someone once warned me to be cautious about sharing 'my past'. I'm not given to ignoring advice but I trashed that because it was no longer in me to close my eyes, so I ask "What are you going through?"

"So, be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life is a Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? (98 and 3/4% guaranteed). Kid, you'll move mountains." (Dr. Seuss...O the Places You'll Go)

By the way, you may quote me on this,...I am 'balanced and unafraid'...