Yeah, what about tomorrow anyway? First off, tomorrow is THE day we (that would be Michael & Vasca...our family and friends)...learn at last what type of Amyloidosis Michael has...hey, we might even talk about a treatment plan...who knows? God has all the details...Dr. Holmes has the word on paper...we will be the last to know.
We've waited and waited for this...it seems like an eternity but really it isn't...hasn't been so long. Actually 93 days since M discovered Amy in his throat...he didn't know Amy then, but Amy had moved in unannounced! How rude is that?
You know, when something so unusual occurs in your life, you think everyone else is as obsessed as you. But that's unrealistic, isn't it? Not everyone becomes involved in everyone else's life...we might all go ballistic and lose it.
I pray that I will always be aware of others and what's taking place in their lives...and let them know I care, I truly care. William Arthur Ward wrote, “Three keys to more abundant living: caring about others, daring for others, sharing with others.”
This is my plan from this day forward...I will care about others...I will dare for others and I will share with others...that is a God Work, right? Of course and I really like working with God...HE knows how to work it.
No matter what comes tomorrow, we are balanced and unafraid...
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Long Time Coming
"Most people can look back over the years and identify a time and place at which their lives changed significantly. Whether by accident or design, these are the moments when, because of a readiness within us and a collaboration with events occurring around us, we are forced to seriously reappraise ourselves and the conditions under which we live and to make certain choices that will affect the rest of our lives"...Frederick F. Flack.
July 8th Michael and I celebrated our 58th year of marriage...oh wow! That's a long, long time and such a wonderful time it's been. Michael didn't 'fly me to the moon' because I didn't want to go there, instead he took me around the world and back...several times. Two naive young people so much in love...with so much to learn but we're fast learners so we jumped in with both feet and haven't stopped since.
We've often looked back over our years and thought about how His Spirit worked in our lives...so magnificently. Things we could've done...and didn't...things we would've done...and didn't. Why? Because we were doing our best to be spirit-led; did we always stay upright? No...simply because we are not in any way...perfect. Imagine that, will you?
One major pivotal point in our lives was deciding to change professions and re-enter the military with the aim to make it a lifetime career. It required many painful sacrifices on M's part...many on my part as well as the four boys! All of us suffered but God led us through it...step by step.
Here we are, so many years later and we're into re-appraisal and making some necessary changes. M has served as a shepherd for many congregations...for many years. The latest has been here in our hometown...5 years...and it's time to make another change. Amyloidosis has moved in with us and won't move out as long as M lives...that's a given that won't change. We accept the intrusion and know that God will see us through it, no matter what.
HE always does and we remain balanced and unafraid.
July 8th Michael and I celebrated our 58th year of marriage...oh wow! That's a long, long time and such a wonderful time it's been. Michael didn't 'fly me to the moon' because I didn't want to go there, instead he took me around the world and back...several times. Two naive young people so much in love...with so much to learn but we're fast learners so we jumped in with both feet and haven't stopped since.
We've often looked back over our years and thought about how His Spirit worked in our lives...so magnificently. Things we could've done...and didn't...things we would've done...and didn't. Why? Because we were doing our best to be spirit-led; did we always stay upright? No...simply because we are not in any way...perfect. Imagine that, will you?
One major pivotal point in our lives was deciding to change professions and re-enter the military with the aim to make it a lifetime career. It required many painful sacrifices on M's part...many on my part as well as the four boys! All of us suffered but God led us through it...step by step.
Here we are, so many years later and we're into re-appraisal and making some necessary changes. M has served as a shepherd for many congregations...for many years. The latest has been here in our hometown...5 years...and it's time to make another change. Amyloidosis has moved in with us and won't move out as long as M lives...that's a given that won't change. We accept the intrusion and know that God will see us through it, no matter what.
HE always does and we remain balanced and unafraid.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Wide-Eyed
A couple of blogs ago I wrote about the gentleman in my life (that would be Michael) who has always opened doors for others...a wonderful trait. And? And, this!
This morning M was reading the journals I've written on his Caringbridge site (keeping you posted on his AMY condition). I remarked that I thought that's one way God is using us in this latest mission of His...for us. He said it was me ~ through my writings. Perhaps, but if so then the secret to my writings is the subject involved and I told him I had no difficulty writing when I write about God...and about Michael.
I added this to my remark, "You know, M...God always comes first and you are next...you are playing second fiddle...I doubt that you mind." Of course he doesn't.
When he was in college, our Scott asked me if I believed that love is blind? I replied that I suppose so because that's what I'd always heard. I surely didn't get a reply I might have expected...he said "Well Mom, Dad must've really loved you a lot". WHAT??? Always the diplomat replied quickly "Mom, you're a late bloomer". Wow...thanks son! And so, some love must be blind...and that may be a good thing.
I think of how God sees me...His love is pure and God doesn't lie...so when he tells me that He loves me? I know, without a doubt, that His eyes are in no way blind. That is such an awesome feeling to know...for sure...that my God LOVES ME...pitiful me...that's a wow!
This post began with M opening doors and closes with M opening eyes. You see, he has helped me in more ways than he could imagine...to open my eyes and not only 'see' Christ but to 'know' Christ. God has surely directed him and in turn, M has directed me...like eyedrops...straight to the heart. The eyes have it.
M has this thing...ever since he 'forgot' our last anniversary...he puts little notes, cards and stuff around in surprising places and writes, "I'm just practicing...just practicing". And me? What d'ya think...I eat it up! Way to go, Michael.
So here I am...looking at you with eyes overflowing with love...clear and wide open...like His.
"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others...For beautiful lips speak only words of kindness...And for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone."...Audrey Hepburn
Practice makes perfect.
Balanced and Unafraid....
This morning M was reading the journals I've written on his Caringbridge site (keeping you posted on his AMY condition). I remarked that I thought that's one way God is using us in this latest mission of His...for us. He said it was me ~ through my writings. Perhaps, but if so then the secret to my writings is the subject involved and I told him I had no difficulty writing when I write about God...and about Michael.
I added this to my remark, "You know, M...God always comes first and you are next...you are playing second fiddle...I doubt that you mind." Of course he doesn't.
When he was in college, our Scott asked me if I believed that love is blind? I replied that I suppose so because that's what I'd always heard. I surely didn't get a reply I might have expected...he said "Well Mom, Dad must've really loved you a lot". WHAT??? Always the diplomat replied quickly "Mom, you're a late bloomer". Wow...thanks son! And so, some love must be blind...and that may be a good thing.
I think of how God sees me...His love is pure and God doesn't lie...so when he tells me that He loves me? I know, without a doubt, that His eyes are in no way blind. That is such an awesome feeling to know...for sure...that my God LOVES ME...pitiful me...that's a wow!
This post began with M opening doors and closes with M opening eyes. You see, he has helped me in more ways than he could imagine...to open my eyes and not only 'see' Christ but to 'know' Christ. God has surely directed him and in turn, M has directed me...like eyedrops...straight to the heart. The eyes have it.
M has this thing...ever since he 'forgot' our last anniversary...he puts little notes, cards and stuff around in surprising places and writes, "I'm just practicing...just practicing". And me? What d'ya think...I eat it up! Way to go, Michael.
So here I am...looking at you with eyes overflowing with love...clear and wide open...like His.
"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others...For beautiful lips speak only words of kindness...And for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone."...Audrey Hepburn
Practice makes perfect.
Balanced and Unafraid....
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Let Me Open the Door
M has always opened doors for me...his mom and dad taught him to be 'a gentleman' and he is...in a multitude of ways! I love the way he 'handles' me...very comforting, very protective and I adore him for it.
He's much like God in that way...we've learned God opens doors in a most amazing way...does He ever!
Like? Last night and this morning and....! It's no surprise that I'm not sleeping well...first place, I have Fibromyalgia which robs me of much sleep. Secondly, my mind is racing like the Indy 500. I was in bed last night before 11 but gave it up and back to our computer. I pulled up the amyloidosis website and checked out a couple of patient testimonials/experiences and stumbled back into one I'd previously read but it just didn't register at that time.
It was from a lady in Coppell whose husband was stricken w/Amy and diagnosed a year later. After a succession of doctors they were referred to none other than M's doctors...how good is that? They made the decision their best care would be right in Dallas at the Baylor complex. Good decision.
I e-mailed her wee hours of the morning; she had me an answer by the time we were home from morning worship. I had prayed many prayers in hopes that he was alive but sadly, he died in May 2009. He was stricken in 2001 so he made it eight years. Of course, he was the age of our sons.
She wrote, "Excellent doctors, the power of prayer, a positive attitude and an early diagnoses were the keys to David's rapid progress and healing." Oct 2002.
In August 2005 they celebrated 3 years since the stem cell transplant and he was doing great. Amy returned but w/treatment went in remission.
We have no idea what lies ahead for us...this is a wait-learn deal. But God is in this with us...in fact, HE is leading the way.
Here's the lesson...God delivered a message, "Here, let me open the door for you."
Guess what? He's gentle...is He gentle. But, HE's into positive action and before we can pass through? He's ahead about three or more doors...and they're all open.
Thank you, Father...oh how we thank you.
Balanced and Unafraid...
He's much like God in that way...we've learned God opens doors in a most amazing way...does He ever!
Like? Last night and this morning and....! It's no surprise that I'm not sleeping well...first place, I have Fibromyalgia which robs me of much sleep. Secondly, my mind is racing like the Indy 500. I was in bed last night before 11 but gave it up and back to our computer. I pulled up the amyloidosis website and checked out a couple of patient testimonials/experiences and stumbled back into one I'd previously read but it just didn't register at that time.
It was from a lady in Coppell whose husband was stricken w/Amy and diagnosed a year later. After a succession of doctors they were referred to none other than M's doctors...how good is that? They made the decision their best care would be right in Dallas at the Baylor complex. Good decision.
I e-mailed her wee hours of the morning; she had me an answer by the time we were home from morning worship. I had prayed many prayers in hopes that he was alive but sadly, he died in May 2009. He was stricken in 2001 so he made it eight years. Of course, he was the age of our sons.
She wrote, "Excellent doctors, the power of prayer, a positive attitude and an early diagnoses were the keys to David's rapid progress and healing." Oct 2002.
In August 2005 they celebrated 3 years since the stem cell transplant and he was doing great. Amy returned but w/treatment went in remission.
We have no idea what lies ahead for us...this is a wait-learn deal. But God is in this with us...in fact, HE is leading the way.
Here's the lesson...God delivered a message, "Here, let me open the door for you."
Guess what? He's gentle...is He gentle. But, HE's into positive action and before we can pass through? He's ahead about three or more doors...and they're all open.
Thank you, Father...oh how we thank you.
Balanced and Unafraid...
Saturday, May 29, 2010
True Patriot
True Patriot
Our nation is preparing to honor those who have gone before us...defending our freedom and paying the price. They are patriots...one and all. To some, it may be just another holiday, another day off...another cook-out. On the other hand, there are those who have lost loved ones, those of us who have anxiously waited for loved ones...those who are still waiting for loved ones...it is a day to honor patriots.
M and I put 32 years into serving this country. Physically speaking I was not 'in the army'; nonetheless, I was 'in it'. How could I not be, when my heart was with the servant? My heart beat w/his during the best of times...and ached w/his in the worst of times...God walked with us and we survived.
Our lives have been most fascinating; we've seen much of the world, we've done much and God has used us in surprising ways. With that thought in mind, we've grown 'old'...'older'? Oh yes, indeed we have. More and more we've asked ourselves what would God have in mind for us now? Now that we are 'up there', that is. Had we outgrown our usefulness?
I bemoaned the fact that the two of us stopped writing the Shepherd's Talk and Ewe's Muse last December. Writing is my true passion...good or not, I love to communicate...to put my thoughts out there...share things. M constantly encouraged me to blog...which I did on Filler' Up...but something was missing. Mmm...Michael was missing...and he's the greatest part of my life...(I love him).
April 21st is a day we'll not soon, if ever, forget. Amy (Amyloidosis from here on out) made herself known in our lives. Guess we could've called it Loid..but Amy is easy to say and so it is...Amy is the 'other woman'.
Our lives have changed this week...and we know our mission. God is using us...as He always has...in yet another surprising way. I'll elaborate in a few weeks...be patient.
Every morning, first thing, we have our coffee...we make a toast...to a day with God plus another thought...sit, drink, read, eat and watch the birds...such a pleasure! Mmm, ever so nice. These past few weeks and days, we have been blest with yet another beautiful view from our 'window to His world'.
You see, M gave me a little rose plant for Valentine's Day...he repotted it and it has tripled in size. A month ago the most gorgeous red rose bloomed...then another and they lasted over two weeks.
This week, wonder of wonders, eleven buds appeared...gorgeous. So, we sit, ooh and aahhh and talk about God and today we're looking at seven beautiful red roses. M says, 'Vasca, that's my gift to you that keeps on giving.' God, I hope that gift lives forever.
It's called 'The Patriot'.
Balanced and Unafraid...
Monday, May 24, 2010
Why Not?
This is a joint effort...not a Vasca blog. Michael is relaxing his brain tonight...poor lamb has been in a whirl and is loosening the grip a bit. He'll join us later...honestly.
If you've heard it once, you've probably heard it a myriad of times..."Why me, Lord? Why me?" Many bemoan the fact that they are 'thrown under the bus'...translated to being struck w/a serious disease or illness.
I was born w/a rare birth defect...and amazingly overcame it. M and I have always looked at it like...'Hey, I wouldn't wish my condition off on someone else. What kind of a person would I be to wish such a thing? No way...we'll make it and besides, we have the BEST expert available.'
You know, we were just a couple of naive, wide-eyed people when we married and we never had a lot...money and stuff like that...but we were so rich we glowed. We had determined to have God at the top of our 'list of everything' and He never left the top of the leader board. HE went with us wherever, whenever and never missed a beat...now that...is security deluxe. We didn't worry, we were always excited about what was around the corner. Everything was a big adventure...God's adventure!
All our experiences were building, building to something fantastic...we didn't know what...we just went with the flow, so to speak. We thought the China experience was the top of the charts but slowly our thinking began to change.
We knew...we really knew...that God still had something in mind for us; we often wondered exactly what it would be. Now, we no longer wonder...we know...we know!
We've had this stranger in our lives since Friday morning...and why does it seem like such a long time ago? We've been in a whirl-and-a-half since then. Last night both of us were totally exhausted, mentally as well as physically.
Terry Rush wrote about us in his Morning Rush blogspot and I totally lost it...I wept for a very long time and even tear up writing this about it. He touched both of us...and we've never laid eyes on each other. A God Work again. That isn't the only tear-break. When I write to you, I cry...and cry! Like now...and the tears won't stop. I don't want Michael to see me cry so...he's gonna' catch me one of these times. It breaks my heart...so much.
Okay, moving on; M's brother is a doctor (GP) and a very good one. He and his wife live in Dallas and wanted to come over Sunday after worship for lunch w/us. He thought he should sneak a look at Wicked...so he took out his tiny light (we use a huge flashlight) and a tongue depressor (we don't use anything) and proceeded to peer in M's throat. "Mike, I've never seen anything like that in my entire life." Welcome to the club, Dr. Beall.
He shared medical info w/us and headed home. Nice to see family...M's sister died of cancer in 1998...M and Ben are the only ones left in their family. Ben thinks along the same lines as we do...rational, focused steps.
I'm considering having a cell phone transplanted on Michael's ear...up early, Dr Ben called and he had just spoken to a leading expert on Amyloidosis at Winship Cancer Center at Emory Med. School in Atlanta. Our youngest son lives very near Emory.
Info from top notch facilities is promising...very promising. If M and I had been doing this alone, we'd be in orbit by now. Our family has become Team Mission Impossible...fantastic. I'll bring you up to date on all this next post...very exciting developments! Woo-Hoo!
A little humor here...if you don't mind. We have a gorgeous Rag Doll cat named Gibby. She's a dream of a girl and so loving, no problem ever. She loves to be where we are and when he and I aren't in the same room? She gives each of us equal time...she isn't biased at all. This morning (as usual) she was pestering M to pet and play w/her. He looked and looked at her, then said to me "Well, if she ever starts sticking to me 24/7 I'll go ballistic." Referring to the 'Death Cat'. So, we're alert...world needs more 'lerts.
On that note I'll close. By the way, thank you for accompanying us and your comments are very touching...very precious to us...we need you. This journey promises to be a true Spirit walk...the very best kind. We're here to tell you that we are so excited we almost forget to breathe...woo-hoo!
Balanced and Unafraid....
If you've heard it once, you've probably heard it a myriad of times..."Why me, Lord? Why me?" Many bemoan the fact that they are 'thrown under the bus'...translated to being struck w/a serious disease or illness.
I was born w/a rare birth defect...and amazingly overcame it. M and I have always looked at it like...'Hey, I wouldn't wish my condition off on someone else. What kind of a person would I be to wish such a thing? No way...we'll make it and besides, we have the BEST expert available.'
You know, we were just a couple of naive, wide-eyed people when we married and we never had a lot...money and stuff like that...but we were so rich we glowed. We had determined to have God at the top of our 'list of everything' and He never left the top of the leader board. HE went with us wherever, whenever and never missed a beat...now that...is security deluxe. We didn't worry, we were always excited about what was around the corner. Everything was a big adventure...God's adventure!
All our experiences were building, building to something fantastic...we didn't know what...we just went with the flow, so to speak. We thought the China experience was the top of the charts but slowly our thinking began to change.
We knew...we really knew...that God still had something in mind for us; we often wondered exactly what it would be. Now, we no longer wonder...we know...we know!
We've had this stranger in our lives since Friday morning...and why does it seem like such a long time ago? We've been in a whirl-and-a-half since then. Last night both of us were totally exhausted, mentally as well as physically.
Terry Rush wrote about us in his Morning Rush blogspot and I totally lost it...I wept for a very long time and even tear up writing this about it. He touched both of us...and we've never laid eyes on each other. A God Work again. That isn't the only tear-break. When I write to you, I cry...and cry! Like now...and the tears won't stop. I don't want Michael to see me cry so...he's gonna' catch me one of these times. It breaks my heart...so much.
Okay, moving on; M's brother is a doctor (GP) and a very good one. He and his wife live in Dallas and wanted to come over Sunday after worship for lunch w/us. He thought he should sneak a look at Wicked...so he took out his tiny light (we use a huge flashlight) and a tongue depressor (we don't use anything) and proceeded to peer in M's throat. "Mike, I've never seen anything like that in my entire life." Welcome to the club, Dr. Beall.
He shared medical info w/us and headed home. Nice to see family...M's sister died of cancer in 1998...M and Ben are the only ones left in their family. Ben thinks along the same lines as we do...rational, focused steps.
I'm considering having a cell phone transplanted on Michael's ear...up early, Dr Ben called and he had just spoken to a leading expert on Amyloidosis at Winship Cancer Center at Emory Med. School in Atlanta. Our youngest son lives very near Emory.
Info from top notch facilities is promising...very promising. If M and I had been doing this alone, we'd be in orbit by now. Our family has become Team Mission Impossible...fantastic. I'll bring you up to date on all this next post...very exciting developments! Woo-Hoo!
A little humor here...if you don't mind. We have a gorgeous Rag Doll cat named Gibby. She's a dream of a girl and so loving, no problem ever. She loves to be where we are and when he and I aren't in the same room? She gives each of us equal time...she isn't biased at all. This morning (as usual) she was pestering M to pet and play w/her. He looked and looked at her, then said to me "Well, if she ever starts sticking to me 24/7 I'll go ballistic." Referring to the 'Death Cat'. So, we're alert...world needs more 'lerts.
On that note I'll close. By the way, thank you for accompanying us and your comments are very touching...very precious to us...we need you. This journey promises to be a true Spirit walk...the very best kind. We're here to tell you that we are so excited we almost forget to breathe...woo-hoo!
Balanced and Unafraid....
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