Back in my 'depressed' days...I loved going to bed at night because I didn't want to think about 'the day'...I didn't want to get up the next morning because I didn't want to think about 'the day'. Okay, I was a hopeless mess...that's about it. God, Michael and our sons 'worked me over' and with all their love showed me that I could be happy...or...unhappy...the choice was mine. I chose 'happy'.
I honestly don't know why I sank so deeply into my personal pit...it just happened. I had a good marriage, wonderful sons...you name it and I had it...all of it. Somehow that wasn't enough...I wanted, without a clue as to what it was...I was...in a phrase...unable to face a day.
Choosing 'happy' has proven to be the valuable choice...dread is no longer an option. Today Michael put it in perspective for me...he said, "Vasca, each day has a beginning and it has an ending." Ta-dah...knew that but I hadn't actually processed it until today...I'm not always sharp as a tack...ouch!
Okay...it's a given there is a monumental amount of unhappiness/stress in our society; all of us are engulfed w/making it from day to day. Aah...that's it, huh? Day to day? A day begins and A day ends...24 hours and it's out of here...over, done with...poof. Please don't misunderstand, I don't make light of my struggle...or yours (if you don't have one...you are rare)...it's just that I refuse to give up and I will not drop out of the race.
Groucho Marx was not one of my favorites but he came up w/a good thought. "Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself; I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose what it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day today and I'm going to be happy in it."
Now...here's my plan...I'll wake today (much better than not waking), rest there a few minutes talking to God...I'll tell Him that today I am walking with Him..that I am going to do my best...that I am encouraging others...that I'm going to be His light all day...I choose happy.
When I go to bed today, I will continue talking to Him; discussing the people I've been with, talked with or even casually encountered...I will share my day with Him...and I will ask Him for wisdom and forgiveness for my failings. And that is the end of today. I chose happy.
This post began with the question, what makes each day valuable? Personally? Today is valuable because I've no regrets...Today I've done my best to be loving, kind and helpful to everyone I am involved with...Today I have no feelings of animosity...Today I pray that God smiles over me. Today is more valuable than 'all the tea in China'...
Balanced and Unafraid...